Becoming successful at the art of negotiation is relevant for “the individual who would like to keep his friends, property, and income, and the statesman who would like to keep the peace.” – John Kenneth Galbraith.
“But I’m not a negotiator…”
Whether you like it or not (and most people don’t), you really are a negotiator. If you’re trying to create a joint business venture, buying a house, hoping to get your preschooler out of his or her pajamas so you can get them to daycare, or just figuring out where you and your significant other should go to dinner on Saturday night, you are a negotiator. At its core, negotiation means working to get what you want from others — and that’s not a bad thing. It’s a back and forth, two-way conversation designed to reach an agreement when you and the other party have some interests that are shared, and others that are opposed.
“Most of the time, negotiation isn’t what we typically think it is, with conflicting parties sitting across from one another, and a mediator facilitating the back-and-forth dialogue. Rather, the art of negotiation often involves building a well-formed and persuasive business case.”
It sounds hard
Negotiating well can be hard. Most strategies for negotiation leave people dissatisfied, exhausted, or alienated. If you strongly wish to avoid personal conflict, you may be a soft negotiator because you are so interested in the outcome of reaching the agreement that you give away too many concessions. Or you might be a tough negotiator who desires to win at any cost. You could also be “in between”, where you attempt to get what you want and get along with other people. Good luck with that!
Try principled negotiation
Developed by the Project on Negotiation at Harvard University, and outlined in the bestselling book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William F. Ury, the method of principled negotiation has negotiators decide issues on their merits alone. For successful principled negotiation they suggest:
- Separate the people from the problem
- Focus on interests, not positions
- Invent options for mutual gains
- Work together to create positions that will satisfy both partners
- Insist on using objective criteria
Greasing the wheels: how third-party resources help the art of negotiation
Becoming a skilled negotiator isn’t a fast or easy process. There are many great books written on the topic. You might also want to consider bringing in an unbiased third party that can help your team see the forest for the (happy little) trees. In other words, is working inside an echo chamber what’s actually causing the conflict?
Most of the time, negotiation isn’t what we typically think it is, with conflicting parties sitting across from one another, and a mediator facilitating the back-and-forth dialogue. Rather, the art of negotiation often involves building a well-formed and persuasive business case.
When it comes to your sales and marketing efforts, an independent, unbiased resource can approach a challenge from another angle and offer a prescriptive solution to your problem, helping your team to reach consensus. If you want to benefit from an outside perspective, as well as the flexibility, expertise and cost savings that come with an outside marketing resource, the Lumen Marketing team would like to hear from you.
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